There is no “right” way to listen to music. Some people believe music is meant to play in the background, like the low buzz of a bee. Other people believe you need complete and total focus while listening, completely honed in on the music in your sensory deprivation tank.

Music is a treat that you can enjoy by yourself or in the presence of others. New music, however, is trickier. If you choose to listen to your favorite artist's new album in the presence of friends or family, there are stakes. You have to analyze each and every person present and ask yourself, “Do I want to put myself out there?” You might be thinking, I didn’t make the album so what's it got to do with little old me?

Music is vulnerable.

The songs you choose to listen to are like little DNA strands in that musical tastebud of yours. Each song or artist you like is like sewing a patch onto your jacket. People will read them and, more importantly, read you. The world is a judging place with prowling eyes and music is like a fresh baked pie on a windowsill inviting them over to look upon you.

So, before opening up that new vinyl, cracking your CD into place on the player, or pressing your thumb onto that play button, consider for a second whose eyes you’d like to be seen by. The band has just handed you a painting filled with notes and noises and it’s your choice whether you hang it up in a museum for everybody to inspect or lay it flat on your bedroom wall like a poster where only you and a select few get to stare at.

Personally, I prefer listening to music with noise cancelling headphones in my room, lyrics in eyesight while I lay in my bed. It’s a strict little ritual I run every time an artist I like releases a new album. It’s nothing revolutionary, but it's comfortable. I enjoy having songs laid out like a buffet and my greedy ears ready to tear off the meaty lyrical legs from the singing chicken.

Albums are an exchange between musician and listener. Both carry a burden to perform, to listen, and to flat out put themselves out there. So what does it matter how you listen to it? Well, maybe it matters because when I’m alone, nobody gets to revel in the beautiful lyrics with me. But when you listen around others, everybody suddenly knows you’re the kind of person who listens to that artist. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

I think it makes sense to just embarrass yourself anyway. Turn UP the music and play it for the people who clutch their ears and the people who tap their feet to the beat. New experiences are scary alone, and sometimes you have to walk that line by yourself. But it’s better to be stupid and yourself than locked away in your room sharing your appreciation with nobody but yourself. I’m sure you’re good company. Music may know that, but nobody else does.

I tried to imagine ten scenarios where I could experience music with other people:

Sitting on the curb and sharing a crappy gas station pair of earbuds with a friend.
On speakerphone during a Discord call where the audio quality is so horrible that the album completely reshapes itself.
In a restaurant where I have to pause the music hurriedly every time the waiter comes by.
Putting my face on with my sister in our cramped bathroom as we get ready to go to a wedding.
During an intense round of Silent Library.
In the car with my dad while we drive to get dessert, with his thumbs hitting the wheel to the beat.
While washing the dishes after a party.
On the beach, through a water-bludgeoned, sandy speaker with my family while my skin cooks itself into cardinal red.
On the dorm room floor with my roommate while my spine whines from the lack of back support.
Accidentally forgetting to turn off the music when I leave my car, while the sound trails after me in the grocery store parking lot.

What's “underground” should be uprooted, and if you’ve ever dug something up in your life, you’ll know it's a hell of a lot easier with more people. Let people perceive you as you wade through the music. Sure, they may not like the album, but people forget things they don’t like. If they hate it and you love it, a conversation brews. If you both love it, a bond is created.

If you want to experience music instead of just listening to it, there is no right way. But listening with other people is never the wrong way.

Let People Hear What You Love

Music is vulnerable.